Anger is an emotion, neither good nor bad. Like any emotion it conveys a message, stating that the situation is upsetting, unjust, or threatening. If your knee jerk reaction to anger is to explode, that message never has a chance to be conveyed. Just like any other living being, it’s perfectly normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged, but anger turns to a problem when you express it in a way that harms yourself or others.
Many people assume that anger management is about learning to suppress your anger. But never getting angry is also not a healthy goal. Anger will come out no matter how hard you are trying to tamp it down as its nature of a living being hence the true goal of anger management isn’t to suppress feelings of anger, but rather to know the message behind the emotion and express it healthily without losing control. once you do, you’ll not only feel better also you’ll even be more likely to urge your needs to be met, be better ready to manage conflict in your life, and strengthen your relationships.
Learn to manage your anger
Simple relaxation tools, like deep breathing and relaxing imagery, will help to settle down angry feelings. There are various relaxation techniques and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon those in any situation. If you’re involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it would be an honest idea for both of you to find out these techniques.
Here are a few simple strategies:
Deep breaths calm you down
Breathe deeply from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t help you to relax. Picture your breath coming up from your gut (expand your stomach when you inhale and contract while exhaling). Slowly repeat a relaxed word or phrase like “relax,” “take it easy”. Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply. Use imagery that visualizes a soothing experience, from either your memory or your imagination. Yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and cause you to feel calm and relax.
Logic defeats anger
Try to change the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak on a high note that reflects their inner thoughts. When you’re angry, your thought can get exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For example, rather than telling yourself, “Oh! how awful, it’s terrible, everything is ruined now,” tell yourself, “it’s frustrating, and, understandably, I’m upset about it, but it isn’t the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow.”
Angry people tend to leap and act on their own conclusions and some of these conclusions are often inaccurate. The primary thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but hamper and think twice about what you would like to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take some time before you reply.
Change the environment
Sometimes it’s because of the immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh you down and cause you to feel angry which is a trap, you seem to possess fallen into and all the people and things form that trap. Give yourself a break.
Be willing to forgive
Resolving conflict will be an impossible task if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. When resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for the losses and it only adds to injury by further depleting and draining our lives.
Make the relationship your priority
Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your priority. Respect the other person and their viewpoint. Think in their perspective which will help for better thoughts.
If we have missed out on any points, please let us know in the comments below.