Masturbation is an important part of a healthy relationship with yourself and your partner
Knowing about your body and getting to know it deeply is also an aspect of wellness. When you connect with what feels good for you, you are getting to learn more about yourself. This information is invaluable when it comes to understanding your version of pleasure. As pleasure is a correlated effort between body and mind, experimentation is all the more important to figure out what works for you and what does not.
Practice mindful masturbation
Mindful masturbation is one without any feeling of guilt or shame. It stems from the understanding that physical pleasure is an important part of life.
Most people suffer from self-worth issues because of the lies fed through media and people around about the perfect body, be it in shape, size, color of skin and so on. This creates an unnecessary mind chatter and stops us living freely.
Unconditional love for the self can only be created from looking inward instead of the outside world. Thus mindful masturbation can actually become a spiritual process where one creates a deep connection with the inner self, thus with the body and the mind.
These are some steps towards achieving sexual pleasure that can awaken the body, mind and spirit:
Create a space for pleasure
Masturbation as a sensual exploration journey. It’s important for one to feel totally safe and at ease for this sensory experience to take place. Along with the mind space, one also needs to consider the physical space.
Set the mood
It’s like going on a date with yourself. What mood would you like it to be in? Do you like candles around or your order to feel closer to nature? What textures and surfaces would you like to have around? Do you like satin, feather, linen? Or water… these are very personal decisions, you don’t need to follow anyone’s advice but your own choice.
While some people prefer total darkness, others prefer a little light. So they can experience the sensations in the body, and see it at the same time. Candles are the perfect solutions for this. And by choosing the right scent for the candles, you also get to decide on how you can enhance the overall experience through the sense of smell.
What turns you on? Soft gentle piano music or hard rock music, ambient jazz or progressive house? Whatever it is, let the sense of sound awaken new parts in you that you never knew existed.
Draw a Bath
Bath can be used as a setting for the whole experience or it is used as a way to calm down and relax your body before you explore mindful masturbation. Certain essential oils or salts can be added to the bath to cleanse deeper and enhance the sensorial experience.
Create a one on one relationship with yourself where you are playing with the lover for yourself. A little bit of imagination and role play can go a long way, and there is nothing at all to be ashamed of in this journey. It’s between you and yourself, do not let societal pressures or judgments come between that.
Create a breathing rhythm
Breath works as an anchor for the mind. When your mind is wandering, switch the attention back to your breath. Experiment with your breathing rhythms. Go slow, go fast, find a pace that makes you feel most connected to yourself.
Whatever makes you comfortable
This again is another prime example of you or anyone else. Find what makes you comfortable and go with it. Don’t listen to anyone else.
Explore and be curious
Treat it as a creative exploration process. Stay curious. There’s always something new to be found, even about yourself.
Don’t forget your breath
We are repeating this one, just in case, your mind has started to wander already.
Get to know your body and the different erogenous areas
Be mindful of your feelings and sensations. Nobody can know your body better than yourself. Make new discoveries and feel free to share with your partner or partners the next time you have a shared experience. So everyone can have a fulfilling experience.
This is an important step that will help you to get to know yourself better. Pay attention to everything you are feeling, every drifting thought that occurs. Every change of pace that happens in the body. It is one best way to create a deeper meaningful connection with your own self.
Be in your special zone
Once you find that special zone and makes you feel the best version of yourself, you can shift your focus there and totally switch off from the outside world.
Try new things, switch it up
When you are at the experimental stage of masturbation, which is always, try to be free from what you know and what works. Try new things every time, make it into a form of creative flow. There are always many toys, gadgets, oils and candles to add to the explorative process.
Release everything including your beliefs, expectation and judgments
Breathe without expectations and judgements. Inhale and exhale. Build your breath. And move the life force through your body before you completely let go and release.
We are born with the need for touch. How do we get to know ourselves better other than by sharing that feeling of touch with our own selves? Look at masturbation as the ultimate form of self-love. A place that is so sacred that no one else gets access to it.